Relationship with Body: Complicated

I just had to shave myself for work after a long time of growing it out.

It makes me upset but I guess this is the thing that “femme passing” models have to do to keep the lights on.

I honestly don’t know where I stand at the moment and there’s a fear of being judged by others as I fluctuate between thoughts and feelings I have about myself and my body.

Did I mention that I once wanted top surgery and pectoral muscle implants? That was a ride. Also, I don’t feel like inducing autoimmune diseases via foreign cosmetic implant.

Another point of time, after looking at an edited image of Grace Neutral, I had interest in nipple amputation but there’s probably no legal way to do it under anesthesia. Unless a top surgery doctor is willing to do it.

I think my feelings about my nipples is complex. I feel like I hate how nipples are sexualized by the public, especially when attached to breasts and/or femme bodies.

I don’t feel like I need a dick but my labia is huge already.

I guess what I do with my body is a story for another time…